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Friday, May 19, 2017

President Trump Announces Plans For Elimination Of Homelessness, Unemployment And The National Debt

Dateline Intercourse West Virginia.  
Yew Dewit for Pie In The Face News.

While scuffling back and forth with courts and prosecutors over media driven topics like political corruption and treason, President Trump tackled several of the most pressing problems facing the ruling elite class he represents. The problems of homeless and jobless people and the national deficit seemed insurmountable to all except Trump. These were problems he had in his sights until the recent squabble over treason and political corruption wormed it's way into the headlines. 

Today, as if he were unaware that the proceedings which have begun to investigate his cabal of nere-do wells for high level crimes, he announced how he will solve the problems of homelessness, unemployment, and the fiscal crisis.

The President revealed his plan today in Intercourse West Virginia before an eager crowd of unemployed moonshiners who had been forced out of work by the government and were hoping to hear words of hope from the savior they had voted for. There had been rumors that their beloved leader had a plan to provide jobs to replace what the government had taken from them. He was their man and they wanted to know what amazing plan he had come up with.

"Folks", the POTUS began, "Times are tough, yes they are. You've probably heard what the liberal press is trying to do to me. They're all fake news and they're not going to succeed ... I'm a winner!"

The President, eating from a very large bag of orange grease loaded junk food as he spoke, went on to explain his plan for saving America. 

"The problems of homelessness and unemployment and the national debt all have a common thread which binds us all to one another.  Unfortunately now the thread of society is unwinding and that is destroying the fabric of America as we know it. Today I announce an end to those very, very serious problems faced by the nation."

The President paused giving the gathered audience the impression he was gathering his thoughts, as he ran his orange stained fingers through his glorious yellow hair before licking them with obvious relish and continuing.

"You know folks last night between tweets I had this thought.  I think a lot folks, I think a lot folks, you can believe that. I said to myself, these three pressing problems facing the nation can be solved very simply."

The President went on to explain how by the executive order he would sign before leaving Intercourse that day would make homelessness a job description.  Furthermore the collection and redemption of returnable cans and bottles would be considered, for taxation purposes, a job which would eliminate both unemployment and increase income tax revenue.

President Trump concluded:  "By this executive order the so called homeless, nobody really knows what they are, can be made to pay their fair share for partaking of this great nation's bounty. By taxing the revenue of these homeless can gatherers we can balance the national budget on their backs without a tax increase for the wealthy. For that reason I have instructed my administration to begin capitalizing on this largely hidden workforce that holds hostage such an immense amount of unreported underground income."

The President became inspired as he went on to explain how his plan would work. "Do you know how many homeless and unemployed this nation has?  We have an awful lot. By the signing of this Presidential order our financial and our employment, problems will vanish. Each and every homeless and unemployed person in the nation will now be able to afford food and housing should they want it. From now on they have no excuse for being out of work. There will always be cans to pick up. 

"My pledge to the American people is and always has been that I would make America great again. Restoring full employment is the first step." 


Trump was whisked away from the photo op by helicopter leaving the befuddled gathering of unemployed moonshiners to contemplate the meaning of his words around Enos Baumgartner's still.


Yew Dewit reporting for Pie In The Face News
a product of the Dadaist News Service. 

(C) 2017 by David H. Roche



Tuesday, May 16, 2017

The Edges Of The Other Side (Poetry and photography}

                
                  The Edges Of The Other Side        
           


                    
        Beneath the sun and sky
                Floral Spirits blow upon the grass
as they watch from the edges
                              of the Other Side.







Poetry and photography by David H. Roche (C) 2017

Monday, May 15, 2017

Shit Hitting The Fan


(Added link: this article arrived today.  It is appropriate to the rest of the story. Noam Chomsky @ Truthdig.) 



"Shit hitting the fan" is an evocative phrase, like 'who cut the cheese'?

The Presidency of Donald Trump has become a universal matter of grave concern.This is now publicly evident in that even the corporate warmongering mainstream institutions of the media have joined together to sink his boat. Just a brief look at the news of the day says there's trouble in river city and it rhymes with "T" and it stands for Trump.This article by Steve Benen in TheMaddowBlog is representative of the reaction of the mainstream media in response to having a President with all the couth of a bull in a china shop.

I'm not a fan of the warmongering slackers in the mainstream journalist profession. But they are playing a great role here.They have the means to make Humpty Dumpty fall off his horse and crack his shell. Thankfully it appears they are trying to do it as best as they can even after enabling the bozo to succeed in his career choice as King of America.

When Trump is forced to step down it is not a signal that the American people have won.  It will mean that there are still some remnants of constitutional viability left. With that in mind if the nation is to be saved it must not be allowed to return to the control of the oligarchy which supported Clinton and Obama and every other President since the banks took control of the nation's money supply.

After the purge it is up to the people newly invigorated by the smell of justice fresh in their nostrils to remake their social institutions until those social institutions serve the people instead of the Wall Street manipulators. The most pressing need of the American people is to find an escape from poverty.  

Poverty is a social disease. It is caused and transmitted by the method in which the economy is ordered. Inflation and stagnant salaries are an example of socially contrived methods to produce poverty.There are over 43 million people afflicted with poverty in the U.S. There are about 321 million people living here. Most are not in poverty but many are in debt and praying they can hold on even as people like Wells Fargo continue to sack their little remaining resources with the desire and intent of a pack of vultures over a corpse. If the wind blows the wrong way a lot more Americans will be in poverty. 

My take on a solution to the problem is that economic resources of the nation could be re-routed so that the people are served instead of the oligarchical classes. In other words each citizen would be a vested shareholder at birth or naturalization and corporate profits would be redistributed to the residents in society.  

Corporate profits are at dizzying heights. Imagine if all the profits which proceed from consumer purchases were returned to the consumer / purchaser instead of given to the oligarchical classes.There would be an end of poverty and that is what I have in mind when I make the point that poverty is a socially transmitted disease.The current system of distributing the profits generated by the people in American society must be completely rethought. Stop for a moment and imagine how the economy would boom if people had the ability to make more purchases!If they had more money they'd make more purchases and GNP would rise steadily.This has not been tried yet, why not try it?  

So, in conclusion,when the King is forced to abdicate the desire for truth, justice and the American way will not have been realized. American society will still be in the grip of the ruling elite classes.The system of poverty which is related directly to the economic policies they have instituted must be replaced if social justice is to be the norm.

When the King is gone, let's be sure we don't elect another one.  The shit is hitting the fan, expect it to stink for a while. But the power is in the hands and minds of the people.  It remains to be seen if they will use that power to create a brave new future or simply go back to sleep.



Monday, May 08, 2017

DisLexic Airlines Announces Radical Policy Changes In Wake Of Customer Abuse Revelations

After a series of media exposes involving mistreatment of passengers DisLexic Airlines Inc. has announced a stunning review of it's policies.  This action on the part of the airline comes after the highly publicized beating, expulsion and arrest of a touring group of deaf and dumb autistic patients whose only means of communicating was through miming.   




In the first hours after the incident DisLexic Airlines Inc. Ceo, Fukwit Profit sought to discredit the group saying:  "Our crew felt threatened.The rioting passengers were making ungodly grunting groaning noises and some were slobbering. All of the perpetrators were making, what the crew determined, were threatening gestures with grotesque expressions on their faces. It was that determination which resulted in the successful takedown and liberation of the airplane from the threat of these terrorists.  Except for a broken nose and a few missing teeth by the terrorist rioters none of the passengers were hurt. Thank Jehovah."  

DisLexic Airlines Inc. immediately removed from it's website the previous post (which Pie in the Face News caught a screenshot of) and replaced it with the following post.

Ceo Fukwit Profit can be seen on the official DisLexic Airlines Inc. website in an official video making the following statement:  "As many have seen in the news there have been a series of incidents associated with our trademark that make  DisLexic Airlines appear insensitive to the needs of travellers. 

"As of today we are determined to challenge that public perception by making the following changes.

The first major change will be no longer hiring those with law enforcement or martial arts background. We are now going to encourage our employees to think of themselves as aiding people in making their journey instead of operating a flying prison. Instead of the heavy handed government approved fascist tactics we will make sure every customer is treated with respect. Even those with disabilities. This is our promise." 

The announcement by DisLexic Ceo Fukwit Profit was received by the American people the way a mother cleans up the floor under the high chair. 
"Right", was the roll your eyes response that appeared on just about every face. That response appeared to be justified as almost as if on cue a series of atrocities occurred involving DisLexic Airlines.  

The most serious of the incidents involved a 99 year old passenger. Within two days of Fukwit Profit's saying the Airline would abolish it's heavy handed approach to customer service 99 year old Helen Marvis was found near death in a wheelchair in the lobby of PPP holding a ticket for a flight two days previously.  Jorge Jesus who works from midnight to 8:30 on the janitorial staff at PPP told  Pie in the Face News reporter Yew Didit: "I had seen her there for at least two days.  I didn't think much of it seeing how air travel is. But the third day I thought to myself there's something not right here. That's when I said something after I swept around her and she asked for water. She didn't ask, she kind of croaked out something that sounded like 'water'. I've worked here six years and seen a lot on this shift but this is the damndest thing I've ever seen." 

Investigation by Pie in the Face News has revealed that 99 year old Helen Marvis had been told at the boarding gate she needed someone to travel with her because of her disability. DisLexic employees at the ticket counter said they explained to the 99 year old Marvis that she needed someone to ride with her. Marvis is deaf as well as wheelchair bound. Hospital staff have indicated she is on IV fluids but are hopeful she will recover.


There were protesters at DisLexic Airlines ticket counters and Pie in the Face News stopped to interview Shirley Greenhouse of "Fair Play For Humans" a group which formed in response to violence against customers by the airline industry. 

Greenhouse was clearly angry.  "We're human beings for God's sake not cattle!  This practice must stop. And we're going to make it stop.There's no reason air travel has to be like being taken to a 'black site'."  

In the place where on any other usual business day, there was a line of people waiting to buy tickets there was not a single person. It appeared to Pie in the Face News that at least for today they had succeeded.

Reporting from PPP this is Yew Didit for Pie in the Face News.  Pie in the Face News, where the facts are always alternative, but the message is always Right On.






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A practitioner of the art of living with the intent of learning how to die without fear.