News From The Future: social satire from bottom of the pile

President Offal announced today that the United States would forever be free of threats to limit its acquisition and use of energy. In a stunning announcement to the entire world from the Rose Garden of the White House the President revealed that due to the benevolence of friendly Extra-terrestrial civilizations we would now be forever free.

He went on to tell the nation and the world how kind-intentioned citizens from other areas of the cosmos favored the U.S. over all the nations on earth.  The President went on to explain how there had been an inability to come to terms with the government of Israel and as a result the U.S. was their second choice.

This civilization the President explained "Is the very same civilization that brought us the fracking technology which has been successful in generating huge sums of money for a few wise investors."

The President paused, collecting his thoughts and took a deep breath before continuing. The entire world held its breath at the same time.  "Our extra-terrestrial friends being pleased with what we have accomplished with the gift of their previous technological benevolence have agreed to give us an even more successful and 'cleaner' energy source.”

The eyes of the world were focused on the President as he interrupted himself to take a drink of water and another deep breath.  With a smile that appeared to surround his head and shoulders like a halo he resumed speaking. 

"Our friends are going to share with us technology which will enable us to safely penetrate the very liquid core of the earth enabling us to extract the valuable mineral wealth in the earths center. The high temperature conditions at the core of the earth will not only provide an abundance of easily attainable mineral wealth but one of the waste products of this technology is the heat which is released.  It will be used to turn turbines which light up our cities. 

"Fellow Americans energy rationing will be a thing of the past because this  will provide  an inexhaustible source of renewable energy once we perfect the technology. This is like being given God's foundry. Imagine that.  Could there ever have been a better or timelier gift from heaven above?"

A focal point of awareness formed in the minds of those who listened to the President. Time had stopped, or so it seemed. At this juncture something truly out of the ordinary occurred.  President John Offal became enraptured.  A glowing orb of incandescence encompassed his head and shoulders, glowing brighter and expanding in size before returning to a recognizable human form transfigured to a state of incandescence. The entire world saw this and was amazed.

Spontaneously he began praying outloud. "Oh dear Lord thank you for sending your servants to show us the way.  Give us the wisdom to embrace the light.  We thank you for showing us how to frack natural gas and for all the blessings it has brought.  We long to be faithful stewards of this wonderful knowledge you are now providing for our well being. Praise Jesus."

 I was dumbfounded. It was shocking to hear a President so plainly and forcefully promoting one specific faith.  I looked around and saw Attaboy Singh, a reporter from New Delhi a few feet from me.  His face was beaming and he repeated himself several times as if he could not believe his ears.  "Did you hear? He said praise to Krishna!"

 I thought: “He did not, he said Jesus.” Singh was ecstatic so I said nothing. I plainly heard the President say Jesus.

I met up with a Muslim colleague who was equally enraptured. "Did you hear the President? He said praise Allah!” 

I was totally perplexed now. Everywhere I looked the people were praising their own God for the new technology.

Nothing like this had ever happened before.  I could never have anticipated anything like this. I put my thoughts down on paper when I got home to see if I could make sense of them.   How could I make sense of the events of the afternoon?

The President had provided  the media outlets with an artists depiction of the proposed geo thermal mine site. It is shown below. The facility is named “Croesus Mining Unlimited”. 

 

The workers will work week long shifts deep inside the earth, returning for a week of R and R with their families on the surface.   In this artists depiction which is on the employment offer brochure you can see the supervisory shift of Extra-terrestrial benefactors arriving, and those who have finished work coming up from inside the earth at the end of their shift. When the plant is in full operation these benefactors will be joined by their human workforce.

Each crew will spend one week working and one week off to avoid the disruption of a split shift.  The Extra-terrestrial employers anticipate and provide for the needs of every worker from the physical to the mental and the spiritual.  They understand that a healthy,  happy, well rounded worker gets the job done.

Initially I was caught up in the rush of rapture surrounding the President's revelation.  Everyone was caught up in his ecstasy.  I went home with my head spinning.  "What will this mean?  Certainly nothing will ever be the same."

 

 

News from the Future is a satirical commentary on social issues. Like real news from the present provided by major media outlets it is deceptive in nature and meant to disturb you. I hope it worked.

Have a nice day.

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                                                    a Clear Running Water state of mind